Diabeetuhs

If you don't leave Philly with a serious cholesterol problem, you're not trying hard enough.

We got a wino on our hands

I don't want any responsibilities at work. I'm just going to keep a bottle of wine in my desk.

What should I bring to the end-of-quarter show?

You guys should all bring only Italian food. Pretzels aren't Italian.

I owe Asians half my culture...

You can go home and eat spaghetti tonight. You know, Marco Polo brought spaghetti back from China. You're Asian!

Squares are dumb.

It is a square! It's just stretched.

So punny...

Sometimes I get lost in FFFFound.

What to do if you already know everything

If you don't have any questions, you can just think about Coney island.