Too crooked for words

(mumble) straighten up.

You have no idea how much it bothers me when something is crooked. When I see a painting in a museum... I get nervous.

Word of the Day

Specificity-the actism of beingocrity specific

Lefty Loosey Righty Tighty

You have a hand for shaking and a hand for other things

Who here is the first one in their family to attend college?

You are?  So you're white trash.

Wrap it before you tap it

I'm not wearin' a raincoat!
It's not a raincoat.

Has anyone lived on foodstamps?

You have three strikes! Black, Appalachian and a woman.

First Aid Procedure

"I cut my finger, like an inch!"

"Oh wow." (turns around and walks out of the room)