By the way, all of your ideas suck

That's called polishing a terd.

I'm kidding—a little bit

I know nothing about anything.

Sarah Palin?

I don't want to call myself "Big Momma Grizzly." That name is already taken by someone in Alaska.

Limitless

You have the choice to choose. You could be Angelina Jolie and a mermaid.

Professor+Math=Virgin

Intro to Calculus [is taught by] some stinky-breath bastard who doesn't get enough sex.

High on Sociology

There's only so much acid one can drop. I just like to do heroin.

recontextualize

to put into a new context