Why not make it all hell like?

(in the middle of a brainstorm for a catalog cover)
How about we put [insert old art director's name] tied to a pole in the middle of a blazing fire... we can add dancing dolls all around it... they could be chanting...
and saying

fuck you. you fucking, fucks.

We're starting a secret club

(Over the loudspeaker) If you are wearing pink, please come to the lobby.

This is so punNY!

Re: This brings a new meaning to "promotional flyer"

Have you hooked up with Jay yet?

I'M LOCKING YOU IN!

Email chain of doom...

R:
S: Tsk Tsk.. he said all the “bad” words.
Gun, Shoot and Bullet.
That’s because no video game hero ever says, “Stop, or I’ll suction cup you with my Blaster”.
R: Halt! I will blast you with my soft foam dart!
T: Fear the foam of… fear?

I'm supposed to use my hands? I've been using my feet this whole time!

(About my flower, which was handpainted with watercolors and then scanned in)

Can you redo this? We want it to have a more 'hand-done' look.

What project number should I bill my time to when I'm reading Craigslist?

(Someone who I am supposed to be working on a project with): Wait, what are you doing?

Me: Reading missed connections on Craigslist.

Him: Oh let's read the rants and raves! Those are my favorite!

Is pantone 389 a modern color?

"It needs more modern color"

"What does that mean?"

"Oh, you know, colors that are fresher than these."

Coincidence or conspiracy...?

Gender change...

We have this logo and it used to be for girls. But now its for boys. We need you to butch it up a bit. Just make it more butch-ey.

Find this woman, even though you have no idea what she looks like

Here are over 4,000 images. Please find Claudia. She may be in the auditorium? Maybe not, she had to leave early. Yep, that's all the information about her that I'm going to give you. This should only take you 2 hours.

No Alchemy Jane...

That is profoundly unsexy.

Characters in Development

"Ghetto Hurricane"
"Baby Doll Nightmare"
"Boozy Sunder"
"Bangin Brast"
"Def Blizzard"
and
"Volcano"

On mottos...

AD1: We need something quick
AD2: and easy..
AD1: just like your girlfriend