Too crooked for words

(mumble) straighten up.

You have no idea how much it bothers me when something is crooked. When I see a painting in a museum... I get nervous.

Word of the Day

Specificity-the actism of beingocrity specific

Lefty Loosey Righty Tighty

You have a hand for shaking and a hand for other things

Who here is the first one in their family to attend college?

You are?  So you're white trash.

Wrap it before you tap it

I'm not wearin' a raincoat!
It's not a raincoat.

Has anyone lived on foodstamps?

You have three strikes! Black, Appalachian and a woman.

First Aid Procedure

"I cut my finger, like an inch!"

"Oh wow." (turns around and walks out of the room)

Somebody get him!

You can take my car! Oh wait, I have class.

Type is so confusing when you draw in front of a mirror

"What are these?"

"They're nines."

"Really?  No they're not."

A Recipe for Design Aesthetics

Lettuce
Tomato
Spinach
Spice
Broccoli
and hopefully something else.

Movie vs. Inebriation Quagmire

How many times have you gone to a movie and thought "Wow, I would have rather gotten drunk"

Self-Esteem Advice

When you see a really bad O on the blackboard, maybe you'll feel better about your own.

Did Jesus get erections?

I was in bed with my girlfriend and poked her in the eye.

Impervious to pain

You could cut off a leg, and, no big deal!

What? It's 11:30 already?

I do not wear a watch on my wrist. My pulse changes the time you see.

Kids in China have it so hard...

The small people in China can comprehend 300 of their country letters.

Incrementalize

Use consequent space interest approach.

This is an alphabet for terrorists

I think, "What the hell?? This brings nothing to society."

Ascenders and Descenders

80% of them [go above or below the baseline]...actually I just made that up.

Diagnose the Cube

Interpret your analysis of your diagnosis.

Word of the Day

materiality.
(n) property of what something is made of. synonmyms: material

Ex. Make sure you vary the materiality in which you use your intuitionisms for the color climates in harmonizations.