Wednesday, December 23, 2009
List areas of concern regarding student's performance
There are none, although there was some mention that [insert co-op's name] should think twice about entering the hipster olympics. She's better than that.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
True Story
When I go to the grocery store, the first thing I do is pick up a six pack. Then I just wander around the store for a couple hours, drinking my beers while I'm shopping. When I go to check out, I just put the caps back on the bottles and put the bottles back in the six pack. It makes grocery shopping a lot more enjoyable.
My boss told me this when I told him we were having a dinner party
I'm going to crash your dinner party completely hammered
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Should we make it one word or two?
Well there's no right way so we can do what we want. How about:
dank'o*/~sekka
Can you trademark that?
dank'o*/~sekka
Can you trademark that?
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
That's what I call good art direction
Just scatter the good [pictures] amongst all the bad ones. it should go something like: shitty, shitty, shitty, decent, decent, shitty, shitty, decent, shitty, shitty.
I'm not rascist, I'm just telling the truth
And obviously, Asian moms are better than non-Asian moms.
We're sticking with underpants kid
I have no friggin' clue what this is...happy underwear wedgie boy?
Monday, November 16, 2009
Presidents make good fake doctors
"That doctor looks like Barack Obama"
"Yeah, let's keep him. They'll probably like that."
Friday, November 13, 2009
Some of my nicknames
I have been called the following:
Gangsta
Superstar
Kanye
Skate
Lauren
Loud Girl
A co-op
Gangsta
Superstar
Kanye
Skate
Lauren
Loud Girl
A co-op
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Never gets old
Yeah, you can make that dieline a little bit smaller. Only problem is, smaller it gets harder it gets
(from across the office) THATS WHAT SHE SAID
(from across the office) THATS WHAT SHE SAID
Friday, November 6, 2009
Wow, this work you've done is revolutionary.
We need to make new packaging for this brush. Make it look just like the old packaging.
It's okay to drink on the clock if your boss orders you to
If you don't get up and get a beer, you're fired.
Don't work on this very long because it's Friday
Can you add a white to green gradient to this to give it a green feeling? Don't add too much green, because we still need to have an impression of white. But it needs to read green, with overall white walk-away.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Why not make it all hell like?
(in the middle of a brainstorm for a catalog cover)
How about we put [insert old art director's name] tied to a pole in the middle of a blazing fire... we can add dancing dolls all around it... they could be chanting...
and saying
fuck you. you fucking, fucks.
How about we put [insert old art director's name] tied to a pole in the middle of a blazing fire... we can add dancing dolls all around it... they could be chanting...
and saying
fuck you. you fucking, fucks.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
We're starting a secret club
(Over the loudspeaker) If you are wearing pink, please come to the lobby.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Email chain of doom...
R:
S: Tsk Tsk.. he said all the “bad” words.
Gun, Shoot and Bullet.
That’s because no video game hero ever says, “Stop, or I’ll suction cup you with my Blaster”.
R: Halt! I will blast you with my soft foam dart!
T: Fear the foam of… fear?
S: Tsk Tsk.. he said all the “bad” words.
Gun, Shoot and Bullet.
That’s because no video game hero ever says, “Stop, or I’ll suction cup you with my Blaster”.
R: Halt! I will blast you with my soft foam dart!
T: Fear the foam of… fear?
Sunday, October 25, 2009
I'm supposed to use my hands? I've been using my feet this whole time!
(About my flower, which was handpainted with watercolors and then scanned in)
Can you redo this? We want it to have a more 'hand-done' look.
What project number should I bill my time to when I'm reading Craigslist?
(Someone who I am supposed to be working on a project with): Wait, what are you doing?
Me: Reading missed connections on Craigslist.
Him: Oh let's read the rants and raves! Those are my favorite!
Is pantone 389 a modern color?
"It needs more modern color"
"What does that mean?"
"Oh, you know, colors that are fresher than these."
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Gender change...
We have this logo and it used to be for girls. But now its for boys. We need you to butch it up a bit. Just make it more butch-ey.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Find this woman, even though you have no idea what she looks like
Here are over 4,000 images. Please find Claudia. She may be in the auditorium? Maybe not, she had to leave early. Yep, that's all the information about her that I'm going to give you. This should only take you 2 hours.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Characters in Development
"Ghetto Hurricane"
"Baby Doll Nightmare"
"Boozy Sunder"
"Bangin Brast"
"Def Blizzard"
and
"Volcano"
"Baby Doll Nightmare"
"Boozy Sunder"
"Bangin Brast"
"Def Blizzard"
and
"Volcano"
Monday, October 12, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Just think
we could have gotten our dicks wet a lot more if we just would have gone to detention more often
This is exactly the kind of feedback I like to hear at my final critique
You had some pretty dumb approaches.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Your pod needs to be at a more decisive angle
I like the pods notion. It feels more like high school—high school accounting.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Graphic design grading policy
multiple mediocre designs = much mediocre
multiple excellent designs = much excellent
multiple pretty good designs = still admirable
Friday, August 14, 2009
I'm not boring you, am I?
Part of the reason why I'm wasting your time—maybe this whole quarter has been a waste of your time
I'm in charge of the design curriculum, so I can probably make this happen
This class should really be called "How not to be a typography whore"
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
3-D grapes aren't very nutritious
This design is not going to prevent world hunger, only governments can do that
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Hold your questions, I'm doing my Batman monologue now
This project is a little reminiscent of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers"
This is really exciting stuff, isn't it?
Doesn't it just get your heart pounding when you see progressions like that?
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Take it to the non-limit
I tell students to test the parameters. They don't really exist, it's just something I say.
I don't really pay attention to course evaluations because I've been on tenure for 40 years
Relatively Irrelevant—that's going to show up in a course evaluation.
Analogies: the most helpful kind of criticism
This key is like our unfortunate, troubled friend Michael Jackson—what he did to his face. You don't want to pull a Michael Jackson.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
I guess I'm qualified to be teaching you
I don't consider myself smarter than you...well, maybe a little.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Dream it you fuckin' dreamers
You can do 1/2" size. But I do not interfere with those because those are your dreams and I do not interfere with your dreams. The computer kills your dreams
Well, I'm going to go now. I'll come back when you need me
Well, I'm going to go now. I'll come back when you need me
Crazy new technology
Who knows what a lates is? Anyone know what a lates is? I think its a machine.. a machine that they use...
(class) I think that says lattes.
(class) I think that says lattes.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
The key to success
Concentrate on penetrating the hole or holes if it has more than one. Don't draw it unless it goes all the way through.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
If your letters are off by a fraction of a millimeter, I can't help you
I can't even look at this right now.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
1+2=5
There seems to be a progression in units here. 1 unit, 2 units....(stares at one side in silence for a good 5 seconds) 5 units.....(stares at another side for 10 seconds silently)....well, I don't need to count all of them.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
An Uneven Exchange
I've tried nipple clamps. Well, I bet my friend to karaoke and he dared me to try nipple clamps.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Too crooked for words
(mumble) straighten up.
You have no idea how much it bothers me when something is crooked. When I see a painting in a museum... I get nervous.
You have no idea how much it bothers me when something is crooked. When I see a painting in a museum... I get nervous.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
First Aid Procedure
"I cut my finger, like an inch!"
"Oh wow." (turns around and walks out of the room)
Type is so confusing when you draw in front of a mirror
"What are these?"
"They're nines."
"Really? No they're not."
Movie vs. Inebriation Quagmire
How many times have you gone to a movie and thought "Wow, I would have rather gotten drunk"
Self-Esteem Advice
When you see a really bad O on the blackboard, maybe you'll feel better about your own.
Kids in China have it so hard...
The small people in China can comprehend 300 of their country letters.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Ascenders and Descenders
80% of them [go above or below the baseline]...actually I just made that up.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Word of the Day
materiality.
(n) property of what something is made of. synonmyms: material
Ex. Make sure you vary the materiality in which you use your intuitionisms for the color climates in harmonizations.
(n) property of what something is made of. synonmyms: material
Ex. Make sure you vary the materiality in which you use your intuitionisms for the color climates in harmonizations.
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